Saying No to What You Want Is Saying No to Your Energy
We got a puppy!!!! Something a lot of people really want but never go for.
This post is about how we rationalize or talk ourselves out of pure sources of joy, happiness, and energy.
We got an adorable fluff-ball golden retriever.
This isn’t completely new for me. I grew up with a dog. My parents got a Collie puppy when I was around the same age as my daughter is now. He was with me all through childhood, high school, and university - my best buddy and a pure source of joy and happiness.
So now, watching my daughter with our puppy feels both nostalgic and totally new.
When we started telling people about the puppy, I kept hearing a similar response:
“I’ve always wanted a dog… but I travel too much.” “That’s my dream… but it feels like too much responsibility.” “I’d love one, but I just don’t have the time.” “I wish I could have one, but I don’t have enough space.” “That would be amazing - but our household already feels full enough.”
And it made me think.
How often do we say exactly the same kind of thing about something we genuinely want?
“I want to switch careers… but what if it doesn’t work out?”
“I’ve always wanted to learn tennis… but where would I even find the time? Where would I train? Who would I play with? What if I’m terrible?”
“I’d love to take a solo trip… but what if I feel lonely? Or it’s too much to plan?”
We say we want something - and then we immediately come up with a reason why we can’t have it. We don’t even pause to check whether it’s really true. It’s like our brain has a ready-made list of rational, logical reasons that talk us out of our heart-led desires before we’ve even considered them properly.
We had the same concerns about getting a dog. What about travel? What about freedom? What if it’s too much?
But when you sit down - really sit down - and think about it, you might see a different picture.
Yes, it’s a commitment. But it also brings a lot more than people realize:
Movement – You get outside every day, walk more, and hit your steps without even thinking about it.
Connection – You meet new people, start conversations, build unexpected social ties.
Laughter – Pets are funny. And laughing regularly improves your well-being and may even add years to your life.
Affection – Daily cuddles and warm greetings make you feel loved and emotionally supported.
Stress Relief – Cuddling with pets increases oxytocin (the feel-good hormone), lowers cortisol, and calms your nervous system.
Longevity – Studies show that pet owners often live longer and have lower risks of heart disease and depression.
Energy – Your mood lifts. You smile more. You’re surrounded by positivity, and it changes how you move through the day.
Presence – Pets pull you into the moment. It’s hard to stay glued to your phone when a puppy is chasing its tail in the kitchen.
Togetherness – Pets bring the family into the same space. They help create shared memories and special moments.
Upbringing – For kids, having a dog teaches compassion, responsibility, empathy, and how to care for others. Growing up with a dog was a huge benefit for me - and I look forward to seeing the same happen for my daughter.
When you write it all down - including the hidden, not-so-obvious benefits - it often becomes a no-brainer.
And for every argument you might have against it - there’s usually a simple workaround. You just need to pause, think it through, do a bit of research, and figure out what could actually work.
Or maybe it really isn’t the right time. But at least you’ve made a thoughtful decision - not just an automatic no.
This isn’t about convincing yourself to say yes. It’s about not shutting it down too quickly.
Because often, the desire to bring something joyful into your life is pointing you toward the kind of lifestyle you actually want - more grounded, more connected, more present.
And when something has the potential to bring joy, energy, and connection - it’s worth giving it a real moment of thought.
A lot of successful people I know make decisions fast. Not because they care less - but because they’re clear on what matters to them. They know what benefits them long-term, and they’re willing to stretch a little if it means more joy, growth, or energy.
For them, this kind of reflection becomes second nature: they quickly run through the benefits, the concerns, and how they could work around them. It’s not always a yes - but it’s a thoughtful answer. Not one driven by fear, doubt, or lack of clarity - but by desire, aspiration, and heart-led intention.
So if there’s something you’ve been wanting for a while - something that lights you up, feels like it’s coming from the heart, and keeps coming back… try this:
1. Write down all the reasons that have been stopping you. And next to each one, ask:
Is this definitely true?
Is this coming from fear?
Could it be solved, adjusted, or worked around?
What if it wasn’t as hard as I imagined
2. Write a second list of potential benefits. Not just the obvious ones - but the deeper, less visible ones:
What could this add to my daily life - both short-term and long-term?
How might this affect my mood, mindset, or the people around me?
What’s the real reason I want this - and is that worth listening to?
When you write it all out, the picture might surprise you. You may find that what you thought was “not the right time” is actually just fear or discomfort talking. And that the upside is bigger than you realized.
Getting a puppy is just one example - but this kind of reflection applies to so many other choices we face, big and small.
And sometimes, the smallest shifts bring the biggest joy.
As Paulo Coelho is often quoted, “Start doing what you want to do. This is your life, and it’s passing by. When you start doing what you truly want, everything else will be revealed to you.”
What’s one thing you’ve been wanting to do - but keep finding excuses not to?
______________________
🔋Hi, I am Marina Korotkikh - your go-to Energy and Time Management Coach for High Performers. I will help you get from point A (Always too busy and tired) to Point B (Clear, Energized, and In Control) in 70 days. Book a commitment-free call to learn more and follow for easy productivity, energy management, and mindfulness tips.
👋 Follow for practical tips to stay energized, focused and in control of your time.
📩 Subscribe to my newsletter: https://lnkd.in/gcBuqDan
🧭 Want to check your energy levels? Download my free self-assessment: https://lnkd.in/gxUSPjse
♻️ Share with someone who might benefit!
